Why Providing for His Family Sometimes Means Not Being There: Stephen A. Smith on the Trade-Off Behind His Grind

When asked whether he ever fears he’s missed out on family moments because of his relentless work schedule, Stephen A. Smith didn’t hesitate: no.

That answer came into focus after a conversation about his daughter Samantha’s school play. Smith had missed it — one of the few he’s skipped — because he was working during the NBA playoffs. Samantha was upset, and understandably so. But rather than sit in guilt, Smith turned the moment into a lesson for both of his daughters.

The Same Kid Who Wants the Play Also Wants Disney World

Smith’s response to Samantha was pointed: the same daughter who wanted him at that play is also the daughter who wants to go to Disney World, take a trip to LA, and vacation in Hawaii. He did the same exercise with his other daughter, Nyla, running through her own wish list of wants.

His point wasn’t to shut down their feelings — it was to draw a direct line between his work and the life it funds. As he put it, he’s made it to a lot of things, just not everything, because his job is what allows his daughters to have what they need and most of what they want.

“You Want Me to Feel Guilty? Let Me Deprive You of What You Need.”

That’s the trade-off Smith lays out plainly: if his daughters want him to carry guilt over the rare miss, the alternative is he stops providing the things guilt conveniently ignores. He’s not dismissing their disappointment — he acknowledges there will be times he doesn’t give them what they want — but he frames those moments as the cost of consistently providing what they need.

Staying Present Through Transparency

Even with a schedule that takes him from city to city, Smith says he never disappears without his daughters knowing where he is. Every trip, every city, every timeline — they know it all. That way, even when he’s not physically there, they can turn on the TV and know exactly what their dad is doing and when he’s coming home.

For Smith, that visibility is what keeps distance from turning into disconnection.