After cutting contact with family members she was only connected to by obligation rather than genuine relationship, the commenter says her life feels smaller but far more peaceful — free of the chaos that used to define it. She and her husband are honest with their kids about the decision, framing it as difficult but free of resentment. She closes by reflecting that going no-contact took real courage, wondering if breaking cycles of family dysfunction sooner might have spared earlier generations similar pain, and pushing back on the idea that estrangement is ever the “easy” choice.

“No contact with my dad, his side of the family, and my sister, and my husbands dad and his side of the family. My dad and sister are super similar- and are constantly in victim mode. They are like emotional rollercoasters to be around: for years they’re great, and then their mental health issues hit and they become unkind and emotionally abusive and/or disappear. I couldn’t keep up with the whiplash and had to tap out. It was super heartbreaking at first, and I wish them well, but I just couldn’t keep enduring it due to the toll it took on my emotionally- and I had to be functional for MY kids. My husbands dad is knee deep in alcohol induced dementia. We tried for about a decade to keep a relationship with him but again our kids deserve to not be subjected to that, so we decided to be done.”

“I just have my husband and his mom, step dad and brother, our kids, and my mom and step dad. And since I got rid of the people who I was only in contact with BECAUSE they were family: my circle is smaller, but life is SO peaceful. There was ALWAYS chaos and drama- and now I choose peace. We’re super straightforward with our kids. They know we harbor no ill will, and know that it was a hard decision.

Sometimes I wonder if the generational traumas would have ended sooner if my parents or their parents would have had the courage to go no contact with people. I’m grateful for the support in making these choices. It’s a shame so many people think it’s just the “easy” thing to do. It’s heartbreaking.”